Dog Days of Summer....

Oh say, can you see by the dawn's early light?

The petunias are leggy - the weeds out of sight.

The temperature's climbing - utility bills, too,

With the thermostat resting at eighty plus two!

The bathrooms need cleaning, the kitchen floor, too,

What with Cool-aid and Gatorade and Rotel dip goo.

The ceiling fans spin and toss into the air

Stray gum wrappers, dust and dog hair.

The sink is full of glasses, the refrigerator bare;

A matched pair of socks is extremely rare.

Donahue is boring and Oprah too chatty,

Telephone solicitation is driving me batty!

The mailman arrives and leaves us a pile

Of Glamour and People and Colonial Homes.

Glamour offers help for unsightly toes,

People describes celebrity woes.

But Colonial Homes hits where it hurts,

What with decorative doorknobs and table skirts,

And weekend retreats and gazebos galore,

And relaxing summer homes..but wait, there's more....

Floral motifs and needlepoint carpets,

Italian bathtubs and handwoven blankets.

"Soft palettes of color" and "walls of French gray,"

"Marbled obelisks from Venice" and paper-mache tray.

Fantasy foyers and leather fire buckets,

Tiger-maple cupboards and hand-painted baskets.

A piano-bar work table and "original rush seats",

Cote D'Azur bed linens (I think those are sheets).

I toss it aside and return to my chores

Of laundry and cooking and scrubbing the floors.

It's really okay, I don't really care.....

Who wants to read in a French country chair?

It's all too dramatic and cheery for me,

In the dog days of summer I'm happy to be

Surrounded by walls whose surface displays

The presence of children in so many ways.

No marble or damask or botanical engravings,

Just smudges and dirt and pictures worth saving.

Vacation photos and refrigerator art...

GOODBYE Colonial Homes! It's time that we part!